Let go of the guilt and shame. Let yourself be more vulnerable. Most importantly, let go of perfection. Let go of the what if’s, should haves and could haves. Let go of hurting yourself over and over again for what you didn’t do. Instead, remember what you did do. Remember what you fought for and why. Remember why you even started in the first place. Take notice of when you started to wander, and when you lost interest.
Make note of the things you love about yourself, rather than looking at your flaws. When you notice your flaws, reason with yourself. Stare at them until you find a sense of peace.
When you wake in the morning, put on a smile, for yourself and yourself only. If this difficult, find beauty in something small. Nature can really help you find peace, start there. Drink coffee, laugh, read a book, watch reality television, pick apart someone’s brain… The options are endless.
Just don’t run. Don’t avoid. Don’t repress. Feel all of the feelings you are experiencing. Repressing emotions may help in the right now, but down the road it will only hurt.
Sometimes you just have to listen to the sad songs you’ve been avoiding. You have to feel the pain and relive the memories that you’ve been afraid of so you can build yourself back up. You have to remember the promises that were given and have now been broken. You have to remember and reminisce to begin to forgive.
To forgive not only the other people in your life, but yourself. You have to start forgiving yourself for being too vulnerable…. For being too scared, for not trusting enough, for not jumping when you had the chance. You did what could, and that is more than enough. If you feel that it is not enough, begin to take control of your future.
Take control right now. But do not try to change everything in your life at once. Change one thing at a time. Set small, attainable goals. Reward yourself for completing a goal. Treat yourself when you ace a test or get out of bed on a difficult day. Challenge yourself to be better than you were yesterday.
You only have one story in this crazy thing called life. While the amount of pages is beyond your control, you have the control of when to start and end a chapter. You are the author. If you need a new start, begin by writing the next chapter of your life. One word at a time.