Happy Rebirthday

Speak up. Be authentic. Smile. Smile a lot. Use your voice. Be true to you.

I am declaring today my first rebirthday. Today also happens to be World Mental Health Day, how ironic. So, what exactly is a rebirthday? In my mind, I think of my rebirthday as the day where I woke up and started living again, so basically waking up and starting new.

I battled with bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder from my senior year of high school up until what would have been the end of my freshman year of college. For me, this felt like a century. Days seemed like months, and months felt like years. I was miserable.

My transformation/rebirth/new life/whateveryouwanttocallit didn’t happen overnight. I will probably say this in all of my blog posts, but it’s true, it took a lot of time. It took awhile to stabilize after getting off my meds. It took some time to start feeling like myself again after feeling like a walking zombie.

During the summer of 2015, I started getting back into the swing of things, but I still struggled. I was still lost and confused. I didn’t know my purpose or have passions. The major difference was that I was willing, I was starting to wake up.

One year ago, in October of 2015, I got my mojo back. I started laughing, smiling, and dancing. I was excited, and my eyes lit up when I talked about my passions. After going to a retreat in Arizona, I met my life coach and started a transformation class with her. I was so freaking optimistic, and it was fabulous. This opportunity gave me so much positivity. I was unstoppable. I was ready to change my life for the better, and I did just that (and more)!

I honestly feel like one year ago I woke up from the darkest place you could ever imagine and got to start anew with life. I truly feel like I was given a second chance and that is why I declare October my rebirth month.

I have transformed in a million ways since last October. Waking up and transforming is such a beautiful thing. I love every part of my journey, and I am so happy to be where I am today.

I look back on my past and am proud of that I endured. What I went through showed me strength and authentic bravery. I am not remorseful or angry. I don’t feel like I missed out or wish I could get time back. I know it has all served a great purpose.

It takes time to find yourself and find your voice, and there is nothing wrong with that. I encourage you today to make a list of gratitude and stick it under your pillow. If you can’t think of anything, write down what you wish for, give it some good vibes, and tuck it away for the day.

I will leave you with my favorite quote to wrap up World Mental Health Day. “There is no path to happiness; happiness is the path.”

Complement me, don’t complete me

Green smoothie + cute accessories + appointment with my life coach = a fantastic Friday!

Humans need other humans. We like having tribes and enjoy feeling like we belong. Belonging to someone or something can be hard when you are growing up, especially during your teenage years. Sometimes, we lose our sense of belonging. Sometimes, we feel like we never find it.

For so long I searched for completion. I sought completion out in many forms from friend groups, boyfriends, diagnoses, and even materialistic things. I thought I needed completion. I wanted to feel “perfect” and needed to be complete.

Then it hit me. But it wasn’t like an ah-ha moment or anything like that. It took time, a lot of time. I finally realized that to live a life of purpose, passion, and connection I needed to feel complemented, not completed.

I didn’t need a boyfriend, a fancy outfit, or popularity. What I needed was to realize my worth. What I needed was to enjoy my presence and let that be enough. What I needed were space and acceptance. And with that, I started attracting my tribe. I found where I belong.

I didn’t come into this world with a partner or with a tribe. I came into this world pure and alone (in a good way). I am always loved. Until I fully embraced this, I felt lost. By embracing this wholesome love and state of being, I have opened the doors to a new life full of awesomeness.

Be with those who complement you, not complete you. Say you are eating chocolate and add a spoonful of peanut butter, because it felt right. The peanut butter didn’t complete the chocolate, it was already complete. The peanut butter simply complemented it. You define yourself. You are enough just as you are. You are complete, and you are already a whole, perfect human.

Don’t forget that.

Storytelling

I am a story teller. I love to tell stories. I love to ramble and exaggerate; it’s how I get my point across. I am a visual person, so I like to describe the scenes exactly how they happened. Sometimes, I don’t feel like no one hears me. Sometimes, I don’t feel like I am understood.

I have so much to say. I have so many stories to tell you. Would you listen? I want you to listen to me. I want to talk for hours.

What if I don’t tell my stories? What if I don’t get the chance. When I tell you stories, it’s a part of my legacy. It’s what I am leaving behind.

I deserve to tell my story. I want to scream it from the rooftops. Will you listen? Will you be there when I share every painstaking detail? Will you read my story cover to cover and love me anyway?

Will you look past it and walk on by? I hope you stay. I hope you choose to keep reading. This journey is pretty awesome, and more is coming your way. Buckle your seatbelts, kids, because this is about to be a wild ride.